


So Soon (You Are Perfect Porcelain)

by fearof_falling



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Mating, Pack Dynamics, Please Don't Hate Me, maybe a little bit OOC, stiles is sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-02
Updated: 2014-09-06
Packaged: 2017-12-13 03:58:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fearof_falling/pseuds/fearof_falling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles and Derek are a couple when... Beth happens. After that, Stiles's life turns upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bleeding Out

**Author's Note:**

> Fic tittle inspired by the songs "So Soon" and "Porcelain" by Marianas Trench.  
> Chapter tittle inspired by the song of Imagine Dragons  
> italics = flashback

He lost everything in less than two months. Because of her, nothing made sense and his world fell apart.  
Bethany joined the pack two months early and she was the definition of perfect. She was a friend of Isaac’s from work and he brought her home in a casual dinner, with Derek’s approval, of course. The pack loved her, obviously. She had the looks; she was nice and adorable and respected everyone. The next thing he knew the girl was there at pack meetings (because Isaac had told her about their supernatural secret), at dinners, at movie nights, during the trainings.  
If he liked her at first, he quickly changed his mind. Soon, the girl was the one the pack turned to in times of need. The pack was still mad at him for putting them in danger by failing his research skills. Luckily, Beth was there and literally saved them and, from that moment on, she was the on everyone turned to in times of need.  
But the worst was yet to come: she was his mate. Derek’s mate.  
Stiles and Derek were a couple for almost 5 years, but Stiles knew that there was something missing. Sure, they loved each other and they were pretty happy, but Stiles still wasn't Derek's official mate. An alpha’s mate was supposed to bring stability to the pack, which didn’t happen: on the first year, Erica left the pack for six months; on the second, Boyd and Isaac nearly killed each other; and it was only on the third year that Scott decided to join the pack.  
Every time Stiles confronted Derek about this, Derek would pout and say “Don’t worry about it, everything’s going to be fine”.  
Turned out that Derek was wrong, because a month after the new member joined, the alpha was at Stiles’ room, ending their five-year relationship.  
Apparently, Beth was everything the pack needed, including Derek. He needed her to be stable. So, she had to be his mate.  
“I still love you, Stiles. We can still be friends. And you’re always welcomed in the pack. We like you and you matter to us.” He had said, before leaving his room by the window.  
But some things are easy to say but hard to be done and this was one of the cases: Derek and Beth were seemed perfect together it was impossible to watch; the pack was uncomfortable with his presence, even Scott. They were best friends and they spent at least a night per week together, but when it came to the pack, Scott would forget their 20-year-old friendship.  
The only person who still acted normal around Stiles was Lydia.  
“I don’t know why you still hang out with us, Stiles” She would say whenever they talked about the pack. “It’s obvious that the pack's okay without you. You should leave us for a while. You are a great friend and I really adore you, but it’s painful to watch you sobbing over a bad break up.”  
So, after a lot of thinking, Stiles left without any warning.

* * *

 

Scott called him 4 days after he moved.  
“Stiles? Where the fuck are you? I haven’t seen you for days! I've texted you and you don't reply, I've called you and you don't answer. Why the hell man?”  
“Hum… I’m in Atlanta…”  
“What?! Why?”  
“Because… I got tired of everything: the pack, the job, Derek. I got a loan from my dad and I’m currently looking for a job here. It's better if I stay here and sort my life out.”  
“You could have told me, I’m your best friend.” Scott whispered, his tone looking sad.  
“Yeah, I know. But it seemed easier this way.”

* * *

  
_Four people had died that week. And they all have something in common: they didn't have any brothers or sisters and only had one parent; all of them had a strange burn in their right arm. It was pretty obvious why the pack told Stiles to stay away this time (even though the situation was the same for Allison, the warning was just for him... unfair)._  
 _“It’s better if you just find out what it is before it comes to you okay? And find out all the only children who are orphan by one parent okay? I’ll be at my house with the pack. Just… stay here. We’ll keep an eye on you 24/7 and if you need to go somewhere call me okay? Gotta go, bye.” Derek said, giving a quick peck on Stiles’ lips and leaving by the window. Stiles never understood why he did that now: he was alone, so they didn’t need to hide; plus, his dad knew and he was okay with it. Maybe Derek had this wolf thing, like Jacob in Twilight. Fucking werewolves._  
 _Anyway, Stiles spent the night in blank, trying to find a creature that fitted the profile, but nothing came on._  
 _“So listen, I can’t find anything that makes sense. What if we’re talking about some random creature with some weird fetish?” Stiles said when the alpha picked up, not bothering to say ‘hello’._  
 _“That makes sense, so what are you thinking it is?”_  
 _“I’ve been checking some things, like serpents with super-powers, demons, vampires-”_  
 _“Vampires, Stiles? Ugh, isn’t that a little too cliché?”_  
 _“I didn’t say that was a certainty, just a possibility.”_  
 _“So, what else did you find?”_  
 _“Hm, I found this Cherokee spirit, hang on, let me check the name again. Oh here it is: Ani Hy-untik-wa-las-ki. Fuck these names, they are stupid. So this Ani bitch is a lightning spirit, and check this: they have this whip (by the way, we should totally get one)-”_  
 _“You’re on speaker voice Stiles. Just letting you know.”_  
 _“They’ve heard worse, not embarrassed at all.”_  
 _“Well, I am.”_  
 _“Cry me a river honey. Moving on… they have a whip that can leave a burn in like 2 seconds. That burn has some magical shit in it that will make you collapse on the floor and have seizures in a schizophrenic way . It’ll kill you within less than 10 minutes.”_  
 _“That seems to explain everything. So… how do we kill it?”_  
 _“Hm… We can’t.”_  
 _“What?!”_  
 _“It’s a spirit Derek. How do you kill a spirit? And don’t give the Supernatural explanation because that shit won’t work. And you only watch that show because of me.”_  
 _“Not relevant to this case, Stiles. What do we do now?”_  
 _“There’s a spell that can put them to rest for a thousand years. We need paprika, some sheep fur and… fuck.”_  
 _“What?”_  
 _“We need blood from a 25 year old human male. And I’m the only one in the pack that has these characteristics.”_  
 _“And what’s the problem about that?”_  
 _“It has to be a lot of blood. This amount of blood will lead to a deep sleep, not even kidding. And we’re not gonna do this to anyone else.”_  
 _“Fuck. There’s gotta be another way.”_  
 _“Either this or we kill a virgin. Which is sad. And we won’t do it!”_  
 _“But what if you don’t wake up? You’re out of the speaker, by the way.”_  
 _“Aw babe, I’m sure you’ll survive without me. We both know I’m not the one you biologically need.”_  
 _“Yeah, but my heart does. You’re the one I love and you’ll always be.”_  
 _“Don’t say that, you’ll make me cry.”_  
 _“Sorry.”_  
 _The line was silent for a minute._  
 _“You really want to do this? Are you sure?” Derek whispered, his voice was weak._  
 _“No, but I have to. For the sake of the pack, for the city and for you. Ugh this is so cheesy. Why do I even say these things?”_  
 _“Because you don’t have a brain filter and you love the heck out of me?”_  
 _“That’s probably it.”_

* * *

He used to find funny how cheesy and romantic Derek could be. Who would’ve thought there was such a sentimental person under all that «I’m the alpha» crap? Not that Derek would admit it; he would kill Stiles if he told the pack what their alpha did for him or said, even though they all knew.

He missed it. Missed all those moments with Derek, when the two of them were alone and enjoying each other’s presence. By the time, that seemed lame and gay, but now, there is nothing that Stiles would want more: the way his boyfriend looked at him, with a small smile, like Stiles was his world; the way they touched each other sometimes, gently and carefully, like they were made of porcelain; the way Derek kissed him, so lightly it made Stiles’s shiver and go all jelly and his heart melt.

* * *

  _He was wrong. It wasn’t the Cherokee spirit attacking the town, but a daemon, from the Greek mythology. He was called Epiales and he was the personification of nightmare. The daemon could enter the most fragile minds and control them (possess them) and then kill them, by giving them horrible and bloody nightmares. So it was perfect for the daemon to enter Stiles’s mind, since the youngster was already knocked out by the loss of blood._

_When Epiales showed up, only Stiles, Derek and Isaac were in the room._

_Stiles was already asleep for about ten minutes, but his eyes opened and he got up._

_“What? Stiles, why are you awake? You smell weird.” Derek growled, suspicious._

_He looked at Derek, confused. “Doesn’t matter. Let’s go, we have a monster to kill.”_

_“You really should stay Stiles, you lost a great amount of blood and I can’t afford to lose you.”_

_Isaac awed at that sentence, which made Derek growl and whisper ‘I’ll break your arm if you ever tell someone about this’._

_“I’m fine, don’t you worry about me. There are more important things to care about now.”_

_“I’m not letting you go Stiles. That’s the end of it. Isaac will stay here in case you try to run away and meet us.”_

_“I am going with you and there’s no stopping me.” Stiles said, mad and pushing Isaac away quite harshly._

_Derek looked at him again “Stiles? Are you okay?”_

_Stiles’s tone got darker and he smirked “Fuck it, I can’t pretend to be this silly man anymore. He’s kind of pathetic to be quite honest.”_

_The alpha’s eyes turned red “I knew something was different. Who the fuck are you and what do you want?”_

_“I just want to have some fun. Don’t worry about your boyfriend, he’s sleeping. His dreams aren’t amusing though, that’s all I can say.”_

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“Let’s just say that I wouldn’t like to see what he’s dreaming right now. It would kill (!) me, if you know what I mean.” He smirked._

_Derek wolfed out and grabbed him by the shirt, pushing him against a wall. “I don’t know who the fuck you are, but you’re getting out of his body right NOW!”_

_“Now why should I? He’ll die one way or another. Don’t you want that picky form of life to continue annoying you?”_

_Isaac, who was still astonished by all that was happening, got near his alpha and whispered in Derek’s ear “Calm down. You’re about to rip his head off: Stiles’s head. I’m going to call the rest of the pack and they are going to help us. I’ll even call Beth to see if she can find something out.”_

_Derek nodded and backed away._

_“Oh I’m confused. Did you just take an order from a Beta? You should be ashamed of yourself Derek.”_

_“I was not taking orders. He knows I’m his alpha and respects me as such. Now shut the fuck up before I make you.” He growled._

* * *

 It had passed a month since he moved out and he already had a job at a call center. It wasn’t a dream job, but at least he got some cash and he met some new people who weren’t actual werewolves and were fragile and breakable like him, so that was something he could relate with.

The whole pack called him the same day Scott did, including Jackson, which was a weird conversation because Jackson’s weird.

His conversation with Derek was the shortest and the most painful one. He simply called to wish him good luck and to call him whenever he needed. Then hang up. Because he’s Derek and phone-calls are meant to be quick and powerful and, in this last case, to cause as many pain as possible within 30 seconds.

But fuck Derek, he is not in Atlanta and Stiles shouldn’t be moaning around about a guy who clearly got over him. So Stiles did what every single person does when they try to forget someone: get very drunk.

His first night out was fun; he went to a bar with some of his co-workers and they were quite awesome, to be honest: there was Ryan, James, Charlie and some two other dudes whose names he didn’t even remember. They kinda liked his talking, didn’t seem bothered at all if he talked too much, even laughed. All is bearable after a few drinks anyway.

What also happens after a few drinks are mistakes. Okay, maybe after loads of drinks.

James and Ryan had already gone home (the other two left too), since they were married (that pretty much explains it), leaving Stiles and Charlie alone in the bar (well, not alone. There were more people there, you got the idea). One thing led to another and there was Stiles pushing Charlie against a wall, kissing him aggressively, then entering Charlie’s bedroom, lying down on his bed. That night was just a big blur to him running in fast-forward (because a) he was drunk; b) he was heart-broken).

The next morning, Stiles woke up with a huge headache and a man spooning him. He smiled at first, turning over to kiss him; but he opened his eyes (oh lord why?) and noticed who it wasn’t.  It wasn’t Derek. He just had sex with a man that was not Derek a month later after the break-up. Hm, a little too soon for rebound sex maybe?  Fuck. What happened to being his forever and no one else’s?

He just wanted to get up and run to his apartment, but Charlie was his friend (at least he thought they were friends) and there was no way he wouldn’t just do the whole fuck-and-run shit. Not to Charlie at least. So he waited for him to wake up.

When he did, he smiled at Stiles and said good-morning. Stiles sat up and explained to him that he wasn’t ready for a commitment and he was still in love with someone who broke his heart. He apologized if he had hurt Charlie’s feelings, but it wasn’t his intention: he was drunk and wasn’t calculating his actions.

Charlie understood him, but clarified that he still didn’t regretted the night and that his door was always opened for him in any way. They could still be friends and this wouldn’t make it weird. 

* * *

_The daemon was knocked out. At least it seemed that way. Derek managed to do it by tying him down with wolfsbane handcuffs (doesn’t matter why Stiles had them in his room). Apparently wolfsbane didn’t stop just werewolves. What it did to Epiales was like clorophine, the daemon was immediately knocked out and gave them time to figure how to get it out of Stiles’s body and kill it._

_The rest of the pack joined in Stiles’s room within an hour, but they were powerless: they couldn’t kill Stiles, so all they could do was to wait while Bethany figured something out._

_“Shit!” Beth said._

_“What’s wrong?” Scott was the first one to get up and go near her._

_“It seems that the handcuffs are just killing Stiles faster, since that thing the daemon is focused only on Stiles now. So… Wake him up!”_

_“Have you figured how to kill it?” Derek asked, getting near Stiles’s body._

_“Hm… We need innocent blood. Just pour a few drops on his mouth and he gets out of Stiles. Then we need sea water mixed with the blood of the last person he possessed. It doesn’t say how much, but half glass should be fine.”_

_“How do we get innocent blood? And why the fuck does every single supernatural shit has to be killed by blood?” Scott spat out._

_Lydia got up and walked towards the door “I’ll be right back.” And left the room._

_“Where the fuck is she going?”_

_“Doesn’t matter, we need to take the handcuffs and get this shit out of Stiles while we still have time.” Derek said, managing to get Epiales out of his handcuffs. Then he slapped him, making the daemon wake up._

_“Oh hey, you gathered your crew. You shouldn’t though, it’s useless. He’s running out of time.”_

_“We’re giving you a last chance: get out of his body with the promise of leaving this town for good and we’ll let you live.” Derek threatened, which made Epiales release a dark chuckle._

_“You really think I haven’t heard that before? I’d like to see you try.”_

_Lydia burst into the room, placing herself in front of Stiles and held his face “Don’t mess with us.” Then she opened his mouth and dropped some blood into it. Stiles’s eyes became orange, red, blue, green and finally black. The daemon inside him released a loud roar. Stiles collapsed and fell to the floor._

* * *

Remember that whole ‘fuck Derek, let’s get drunk!” shit? Yeah… no. It lasted a week. And the nights weren’t half as fun as he thought they would.  He would be at a corner, drinking a beer or two by himself. Sometimes, someone would sit by, but not for long when they noticed Stiles wasn’t slightly interested.

The days would pass by and he would get worse.

Stiles missed Derek. He did. He tried texting him a few times, but he all he wanted to say was ‘I miss you. I’m having a real hard time living without you’ and Derek would not answer back to that and Stiles would be even worse; he pressed his number a few times, but the minute it started to ring, he would hang up; Derek called back the first time, but Stiles rejected his call, so Derek stop trying whenever Stiles tried to call him.

They hadn’t talked in four months and Stiles was going nuts. He didn’t remember his voice anymore; his face was nothing but a blur now; it seemed like Derek was part of a distant past.

At night, when Stiles was lied down on his bed, he would picture him and Derek kissing, hugging, smiling to each other but, just as he was about to fall asleep, he would started to replace himself by Beth and tears would fall down his face, forcing him to stay awake and watch Beth and Derek, instead of Stiles and Derek. He couldn’t sleep and, even if he did, he would wake up as exhausted as he did before he fell asleep.

At work, he couldn’t focus, since he was dead tired. He didn’t talk much, only to pick up the phone and help the costumers. Charlie started to notice something was off by the second month. He wouldn’t ask though, just looked at him a lot and try to make Stiles laugh, sometimes with success, but most of the times in vain (“I’m not in the mood Charlie”, Stiles would say).

By the forth month, his friend got tired and went to his house.

“I’m worried about you Stiles.” He said “You are different. Are you still not over that person that broke your heart?”

Stiles didn't reply.

“You should go out. Like… Have fun and party a little, forget about his crap. I know it’s hard at first, but it gets better.”

 Stiles was a little apprehensive at first, but gave in after listening to Charlie begging for an hour.

* * *

_“Stiles!” Derek shouted. No, it wasn’t a growl, it was an actual scream. Maybe of pain or desperation. Maybe?_

_The alpha immediately got on his knees and held Stiles; he was cold._

_“Fuck, he’s like dead cold.”_

_“We need his blood, Derek.” Lydia said._

_“I know, I know. But he’s weak right now. I think we should wait until he gets warmer.”_

_“Holy sh-“ Scott said, grabbing Stile’s arm, making Derek nervous “Wow, calm your nerves, oh mighty one and check this.”_

_Derek stopped glaring at him and laid his eyes on Stiles’s right arm: it had a burn in it._

_“It seems newly made. Why?”  Scott pointed out._

_“I don’t know. Maybe the daemon makes it every time he gets out of a body?” Isaac said._

_“Seems reasonable. By the way, where’s it?”_

_Derek lifted his head “I think he’s still in the house. Isaac, go look for him. He smells like burned candles.”_

_His beta nodded and left the room._

_“Hey Lydia, how did you get the blood?”_

_“Well, I went to the neighbor’s house and just made the man bleed. Chill out, the cut was in his finger, he is totally fine. How did I know he was innocent? Lucky guess.”_

_Stiles was warmer by now, so they made a small cut in his hand, enough to make him bleed._

_“He lost so much blood by now, Derek.” Scott said “Fuck, I’m gonna kill him when he wakes up.”_

* * *

“Stiles is gone.” Scott said once Derek opened his door, not even bothering to say hello.

“What?!” Derek growled, his eyes going red.

“I just went to his house and his dad said he moved out but he didn’t tell me where did he go.”

“Have you tried to call him??” Isaac almost shouted.

“Yeah… He’s in Atlanta.”

“Atlanta?!” Isaac and Derek asked in unison (it was more a growl than a question for Derek, to be honest).

“At least that’s what he told me.”

Isaac pouted “Why didn’t he say goodbye?”

Scott made an effort to not kidnap Isaac and adopt him “He didn’t say anything to me either and I’m his best friend since forever.”

“Isaac, call everyone and tell them to call Stiles. Yeah, Jackson too. I’m going for a run.”

Derek didn’t wait for Isaac’s response: he made his way to the door and started to run; he didn’t care if he was wearing jeans and a leather jacket (he got rid of it within 2 minutes anyway); he didn’t care if he was already tired (even though it had only passed ten minutes since he left the house, which was strange for a werewolf, specially an Alpha); all he wanted was to forget the fact that Stiles wouldn’t be there anymore.

He got his phone out of his pocket and, after checking if he had service (which he did), he dialed Stiles’s number.

“ _Hello?”_

“So Atlanta?”

“ _Did you know they have the biggest gay community in here? Such a huge coincidence!”_

Derek chuckled “Well… hum… good luck on everything. In case you need anything, you know what to do.”

“ _Okay. Don’t worry about me.”  
_ “I always worry about you, Stiles. Bye.”

He didn’t give Stiles the chance to say goodbye.

“I always worry about you?! What the hell were you think Derek? Ugh!” He said to himself, looking at his phone angrily, fighting the urge to smash it with his hands.

He sat on the floor, holding his knees to his chest. He didn’t want to wolf out or growl at the moon or whatever werewolves do in situations like these. No, he just wanted to run the hell out of there and be alone for weeks.

But he knew it couldn’t be like he wanted it. For the first time in his life, his wolf was controlling him. It was because of his wolf Stiles had left, but Derek didn’t want any of this. Sure, Beth brought stability to the pack, but the idea of not being with Stiles everyday was unbearable for his human part.

“Are you okay?” Beth said, appearing out of nowhere and sitting beside him.

“I have to be.”

“He was your boyfriend for 5 years and you can’t forget that Derek.”

“I just- I wish- Fuck. Why isn’t anything simple?”

“I know. You’ll get over him.”

“The human part of me wants him and is devastated, while my wolf couldn’t be happier whenever you’re around.” He turned towards her, grabbing her hands. “I never felt so divided before.”

She kissed his forehead “Do you- would things be better if he was your mate?”

 They were silent for a moment until got up and just said “We should head back.”

* * *

_The daemon was dead, Stiles was still asleep; thank god the Sheriff was out of town or else they’d all be dead, werewolf powers or not._

_“Maybe he’ll wake up to a kiss.” Isaac pointed out._

_Derek glared at him “A «Sleeping Beauty» joke? That’s the best you can come up with?”_

_“Well, jokes aren’t really my forte.”_

_“You should go home: all of you! I’ll stay here and take care of him.” Lydia said in her aggressive tone that made everyone shiver (even Derek, even if he never admitted it)._

_“Okay, we’ll go. Just promise you’ll call me if he wakes up.”_

_“No, I’ll kidnap him and make him my slave. Of course I’ll call you! Now go!”_

_Days had passed and he still hadn’t wake up. Derek hadn’t came over his place, but he called Lydia every hour._

_“Look, I’m sick and tired of listening to 10 seconds of Little Things every hour. So stop calling me or I’ll make sure you won’t be alive the next full moon. If he wakes up I’ll call you. Are we clear?”_

_He mumbled "Fine” and hang up._

_She called half an hour later and he didn’t need to pick up the phone. He just grabbed his jacket and made his way to Stiles’s house._

_“What’s he doing up?” He asked, when he noticed Stiles was making his way to the kitchen._

_“I tried Derek, I swear.” Lydia apologized._

_Derek almost ran to get near Stiles and, once he did, he grabbed his arm, forcing the younger man to stop. Stiles looked at him and smiled “Hey cutie”_

_Derek looked at him with a confused face “I’m cute?”_

_“Sure, your muscles scream «I’M THE TOUGHEST GUY HERE» but your eyes are just adorable.”_

_Derek just smiled and pushed him closer by the neck, smashing his lips against Stiles’s. He smiled into the kiss when his boyfriend started to kiss back._

_If the kiss was passionate and fast at first, quickly it turned sweet and affectionate._

_“I’m not cute.” Derek said, between kisses._

* * *

 Beth hadn’t asked for any of this. One moment she was just a friend of Isaac’s work, the next she was Derek’s mate. Yeah… total change of plans. Not that she didn’t enjoy being around a bunch of supernatural creatures, the problem was that she hadn’t asked for any of this and, now, because of her, a member of the pack had left and Derek had become more bipolar: during the day, we would pout a lot and sigh and just look at things like they meant something for Stiles and him; while at night, he just seemed to forget the other man and turned all his attention to his girlfriend/mate and, lets be honest, sex with a werewolf is the best kind of sex, no matter what you say, you will never find a better person/creature to have sex with (unless you’re into biting and blood everywhere, then go for vampires because, yes! , they are very real and sexier, not that she tells Derek this, he'd kill her). On the night of the full moon, Derek would be violent and wild. But, at the bottom of things, their relationship was mostly physical and Beth wanted more.

She had tried to reach him, tried to connect with him emotionally, to get him to open up, but he would turn his back on her and walk away, disappearing into the woods and only coming back at night.

Once she called him ‘sourwolf’ and he almost screamed at her (but he couldn’t, because the wolf inside him was stronger). So he just left for two whole days, returning with the smell of animal blood.

Eventually, she got tired of Derek. She wanted to break up with him and be with someone who loved her, and Derek could never give her that. But Derek would never let her go, even he wanted to; his wolf side of him wouldn’t allow it.

That was the reason Beth decided to ask for help and she turned to the best source about werewolves and such: Deaton. 

* * *

_“You’re crazy Stiles! You are really out of your mind!” Isaac shouted at him, at the first pack meeting since the whole daemon thing. “How could you endanger yourself and the pack like that? And it’s not even the first, the second or the third time; you’ve done this so many times I’m actually tired. Don’t you think it’s enough?!”_

_Stiles was speechless, he was facing the ground._

_“I have to say… I agree with Isaac.” Boyd intervened “You’ve been acting crazy, as if you have something to prove to us.”_

_“Okay, that’s enough.” Derek almost growled “Stiles, next time, listen to me and don’t act like bait okay? “_

_Stiles nodded and looked up: they were all facing him with an angry and disappointed look (even though they all agreed with him before, which was stupid. Werewolves)._

_“Hum… I should go home.” He managed to say and made his way to the door._

_Derek followed him and opened the door for him._

_“Sorry. I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked_

_“Sure.”_

_Derek got near him and planted a kiss on his forehead, whispering “Drive safely and text me when you get there”, and gave him a small and quick kiss on the lips._

_Stiles left the house without saying anything else._

* * *

He didn’t know how it all had happened, but Stiles and Charlie had started dating, he had a new job as a game developer (with a very good payment), a new (rented) place and a not-bad-at-all car (the Jeep died, it was sad. The end of an era, some might say).

His life seemed to be going great a year after he left Beacon Hills and he didn’t miss anything but his dad, who actually visited him a lot because he liked Charlie (more than he ever liked Derek to be honest. Charlie was only threatened by the Sheriff once, while with Derek, it was unusual being with both without his dad holding a gun or something).

One night, when Charlie had a night shift, someone called home. He glanced at the alarm clock: 3am. What the fuck? Who the fuck calls a person at 3am?

He decided to ignore but, when he was about to fall asleep again, the phone rang again.

“What?” He said, his voice rough from the sleep.

“Is this Stiles I am talking to?” A girl said at the other line.

“Yeah.”

“Hm… I just… I’m… It’s Beth.”

Stiles got up immediately “Is he okay?!”

“Don’t worry, he’s fine. I’m sorry if I woke you up, but I wanted to talk to you in private and it’s a full moon tonight and the pack isn’t here so…”

“Oh… okay. Well, say it.” He tried to be nice, but he was talking to the girl who stole his boyfriend ( ~~because saying man of his dreams sounded like he was a teenager again~~ ).

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault, but mine. Look, I didn’t ask for any of this and I hope you understand that I don’t hate you and Derek doesn’t hate you” ( ~~Stiles didn’t get goose bumps when she said his name~~ ) “and the pack doesn’t hate you. They miss you actually, even though they may not say it. They try to throw jokes, but they end up awkward and Derek just looks at them with the glare ‘You’re no Stiles. Go away’.  I’m really sorry.”

“That’s all? ‘Cause you know… I got work and it’s 3am and I’m tired.”

“Yeah… No. Can I ask you something Stiles?”

“Sure.”

“Do you still love him?”

"Why the hell do you want to know that? It's none of your business and you're the one with him, not me."

"So you do. Well, I'm calling you because I want you to wait... for him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo, the next chap is coming... i dunno when but i promise i won't give up on this (because i'm really into the story rn) it might take a while, since this first part took me 2 months (it won't take as long, because i'm done with school next week)  
> feel free to give me advices and ideas =)


	2. I for You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later, Derek and Stiles finally see each other again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You should check the 1st chapter out because I changed some small things and I think it's better now...  
> I chose to keep everyone from Derek's pack alive bc they are babes and awesome and I love Allison too so she stays.

_«I know some things should just stay broken_

_I'm well aware this should remain unspoken_

_But I've been working on the things that I was learning all wrong_

_I know sometimes I only twist ya_

_And maybe I'm too proud to say I missed ya_

_But what if here and now, I tell you that I'm all figured out?_

_Or maybe I just like how that sounds»_

-Marianas Trench “So Soon”

 

* * *

 

Day by day, Stiles was falling apart. He was with Charlie, but he wasn't happy; he was afraid. 

Some days he wouldn't get out of bed. He was broken and shattered, he felt lost, and depressive and so unhuman. 

Charlie was so understanding, he would never scream, he would never push him too much. But he couldn't love him when he knew Derek could be his again; since the day Beth called him, he wasn't the same. He couldn't help but think that there was hope after all. Each day got harder, because there were no news. But Derek loved him. He did. 

Then why didn't he call me yet or text me or just give me any sign that he does care? 

Slowly, the pack started to call him every day. All of them except Derek and Beth. They would give him the news, listen to his, make plans to visit him (even though Stiles had a feeling these plans would never be fulfilled). 

Then Scott broke up with Allison (or she broke up with him, who cares? They got back together a week or two later anyways) and Scott showed up at Stiles's front door unannounced. He stayed there for a while, just playing video games, and getting to know Charlie and Stiles's new friends. 

“I hope someday you understand Charlie's the right one for you and he deserves you. You should be happy. Stop waiting for him because he is not waiting for you.” He said, before leaving. 

He couldn't stop thinking about what Scott had said and how it was related to Beth's words. If he waited and lost Charlie, would it be worth it? What if Derek never talked to him again? What if they just weren't meant to be? 

Maybe it was better if they were apart. Maybe that was it, the end of ‘Stiles and Derek’ epic love story. After all, Stiles left Beacon Hills for a reason right?

* * *

Beth arrived Deaton's clinic and made sure no one was there but them.

“I need your help.”

“I'm all ears.” Deaton said, sitting on a chair and making a gesture for her to do the same.

“So you know I'm Derek's mate right?”

He nodded.

“I'm here because I feel like… like he doesn't really love me, that he's just with me because…”

“… he has to, because his wolf wants to. That’s normal. There’s two kinds of mates: Scott and Allison, for example, are mates because Scott was a bitten werewolf and he knows the difference between his human emotions and his wolf’s; Derek, on the other hand, was born a werewolf, so it’s harder for him to control his wolf’s emotions, especially when they’re not the same as the human part of him.”

“Shouldn’t it be otherwise? A born werewolf should have more control of himself…”

“Technically yes. But, you see, a bitten werewolf was human once, so they can separate their “true” emotions from the ones the wolf has. Scott fell in love with Allison first and then she proved to be a worthy mate, while you –“

“I just proved to be a worthy mate.”

“Yes.”

“And Stiles didn’t proved to be a worthy mate?”

“Not quick enough. I’ve always thought that Stiles needed to grow up, trust Derek’s pack and learn his place. Once that happened, Derek would finally recognize him as mate material. But then you showed up…”

“Can Stiles still prove that he deserves to be Derek’s?”

“Why would Derek want two mates? Unless… you don’t want to be his mate?”  He asked, intrigued.

“I care about Derek, of course, but I can’t keep living like this. He will always love him more.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“It’s been over a year and he still loves the other guy as much as before. So… how can I stop being his mate?”

* * *

When Derek got in his apartment, he found it empty: no furniture anywhere, no TV, no fridge, nothing. Completely empty. Derek walked around the house and when he got in the bedroom there was a note on the bed (which was still there) that said: 

_Derek,_

_This is a goodbye. I can’t be with you anymore. Please understand the reason why I am doing this is because I care for you and I want you to be happy. I talked to Deaton and he said this was the only way we could stop being mates. But there’s a catch: you’ll stop being an alpha too. But what do you prefer: love or power? You’ll also never have a mate again, which I think it’s a good thing, since you can be with whoever you want, and we both know who that person is (as long as he accepts you back)._

_The ritual is the following: we have to get rid of everything we owned, so we have no scent as a couple. Go to Deaton and he’ll give you an elixir that will separate my scent from yours. Burn this bed and leave the apartment and never come back to it. I suggest you go to Atlanta before it’s too late._

_Sorry I couldn’t tell this in person, but you’re too intimidating when it comes to talking about him. Hope you two get together._

_Love,_

_Beth_

* * *

 

Stiles was home alone, in the middle of the afternoon when there was someone knocking at his door. Repetitively. Eventually, Stiles got up and went to the door. 

“Just open the door, Stiles, I can hear you’re there.” It was a male voice, a familiar one. It wasn’t Charlie or any of his other friends. What if it was someone from Beacon Hills? Maybe Scott or Jackson or… fuck. No. It couldn’t be. It was just fucking impossible that Derek fucking Hale could actually be knocking at his door. At 2am.

“What do you want?” He asked, still unsure if he should open the door or not.

“Stiles… I just… I miss you.” He heard something banging against the door, which he presumed it was Derek’s forehead.

“Nope, I’m going to bed, this is a hallucination because of my lack of sleep, for sure.”

“Why haven’t you been sleeping, Stiles? Just open the door please.” His tone was low, worried.

“How can I be sure you’re not tricking me and you’re not some creature or spirit that has stolen his voice or something?”

“You’ll just have to trust me.”

Stiles sighed and opened the door. And there he was, his former boyfriend, standing on his doorstep, with a small smile. “Hey Stiles. Can I come in, please? I think I owe you a conversation.”

“Yeah you do, but you’re 2 years too late.” He answered, but let the man enter his house. 

Derek didn’t answer, just made his way to the couch.

“You have a nice place here, how could you afford it?”

“It’s rented.”

The werewolf nodded. When Stiles sat in a chair in front of him, he frowned and looked down.

“So… Are you gonna speak or not? ‘Cuz I have loads of stuff to-”

“I still love you Stiles.” Derek interrupted, making Stiles’ jaw drop. “I’m sorry if I’m only telling you this now, but… fuck Stiles. I never stopped loving you, not even a little bit.”

“But what about Beth? She’s your mate. She’s your everything and more. Your better half. Your reason to live. Your sun and stars. Your-“

“No. You are. She was just... the wolf talking. Besides, she left me.”

Stiles was speechless. His brain stopped working and he froze.

“She left me two weeks ago and I had to come here. We can be together now.”

“Sorry Derek, but… I found him. We’re together for almost a year now.”

Derek passed his hands through his hair and sighed. “Oh... I get it. Of course, you couldn’t wait for me forever... Do you love him?”

Stiles let out a small laugh “Yeah, I think I love him.”

“You think? So you’re not sure? Why?”

“Because you messed me up so bad I’m afraid of loving anyone else.”

Derek looked him in the eyes and frowned. “I never meant to leave you, you were it for me Stiles.”

“I thought so too, but then all that shit happened and I don’t know anymore. I like Charlie, he fixes the mess you made.”

“But you still love me.” Derek whispered.

“I don’t know how I feel about you. Sometimes it hurts because you’re not here. Sometimes I forget you, the times I’m happy with Charlie. But most of the times I wish I have never met you, because I hate myself to still want you.”

“I’m sorry. We should have never broken up the way we did, and I should have never ignored you and the pack’s actions weren’t the best. I’m sorry, Stiles. But I can’t lose you again. If you won’t take me as your boyfriend again, then let me at least be your friend, even though my heart will be always yours.”

Stiles didn’t answer. Instead he got up and sat near Derek, getting close to him. Derek closed his eyes and went for a small kiss, just a tender touch of lips. When he opened them again, there were tears on Stiles’s face. He tried to reach for his face, but the younger man just stepped back.

“You shouldn’t have come.” Stiles whispered.

“What? Why?”

“I have Charlie now. You’ve ruined me and I won’t ever recover from that. I won’t ever forget the fact you left me and you can leave me again.”

“I want to be with you, Stiles. Only you. I won’t have a mate again, I’m free to be with you.”

“At what cost?”

“I am not an alpha anymore.” Derek’s eyes flashed blue.

Stiles smiled. “I’ve always preferred blue over red.”

“So what now?” He asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t know if I can trust you again.”

“Come on a date with me, I promise I’ll spend my life showing you I am in love with you and I will never leave again.”

“I can’t Derek. I have a real good thing with Charlie and I can’t afford to lose him. I like him too much to hurt him.” 

“I won’t go away. I won’t give up on you this time. Just give me a chance.”

“No.”

“But Stiles...”

“What if something happens again and I end up hurt? I know Charlie loves me, and he’s trying to make us work, I can’t lose him. Besides you left me. For two fucking years. You didn’t even call me. You never cared to know how I was doing. And suddenly, everything’s okay because Beth left and you can be with me. Does that give you the right of a second chance? No, I don’t think so Derek.

“First of all: you were the one who left. And seco-“

“I left because it wasn’t my place to stay! What did you want? That I acted like nothing had changed and follow your around like a puppy? Sorry, but I’m not one of your betas; never was and never wanted to be.”

Derek pretended that he didn’t hear him “Second of all: you love me, not him! You said it yourself!”

“For fuck’s sake, do you think I really need more pain in my life? Don’t you think I’ve had enough of all this? Don’t you fucking realize that maybe the reason I left Beacon Hills –apart from being heartbroken – was because I was tired of getting hurt and feeling weak? I just wanted to forget everything, that all of you ever existed – except my dad, obviously – but, for some reason, I have a mark on my skin that still reminds me every day what I’ve been through with you and your precious little pack.” He said, so tired and angry that he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. He pulled his right arm’s sleeve up, showing the scar of a burn. “I wish I could get rid of this; maybe then I could erase my life before I moved here. Or at least the part when it all fell apart. Maybe now I could look at the past and understand why I had to leave and maybe it wouldn’t hurt. But fuck – life’s a bitch and I have this to remind me how much of a failure I was as a friend, as a member of your pack, as your boyfriend. It makes everything hurt, but you don’t understand this. How could you anyway? You have a great pack, who respects you as an alpha; you have a great house and loads of money and you don’t even need to work ever again in your whole damn life; and finally, you have a mate: a perfect mate with a perfect personality, a perfect physique, a perfect everything. Why would you understand me, Derek?”

“You should really think before you speak. You can be really egocentric sometimes you know? You act like you’re one of a kind but I know what it feels like to lose everyone you love.  I gave up my power, my pack, my status, everything in my nature, just to be with you again. If that doesn’t mean anything, then I don’t know what does. I guess this is all too overwhelming for you to make a decision right now, but in time I think you’ll understand how much I care about you. I have nothing left to say, so I’m going. In case you need me, I’m one phone call away. I know the way out, you don’t need to show me.”

* * *

 

Derek went back to the loft. It made sense since it was their place. If they wanted to be alone, they’d go to the loft. It only had two rules:

1) Only Stiles and Derek could have the keys to the loft;

2) The rest of the pack had to ask to visit the loft and they had to have the permission of both Derek and Stiles.

These rules gave them some privacy and time to get to know each other better. Sometimes, one of the pack (Lydia) would make a copy of the key and go there with Jackson. Sometimes, she would lend it to Allison and she’d go with Scott (which Stiles never understood, because Scott’s house was almost always empty, since his mom double-shifted a lot). But they knew when it was ‘Stiles and Derek time’, they had to give them space.

Derek’s happiest times was when he was Stiles, because he brought the best of him to the surface. Stiles made him human again, made him vunerable and in touch with his feelings. With Stiles, he could be as lame and stupid as he wanted, because his boyfriend would never make fun of him, he loved him even more, if that was possible.

And Derek loved Stiles. So much that sometimes it hurt. It hurt from all the smiles, all the kisses, all the cuddles, all the sexy times, all the fights (who ended in like 2 minutes with a huge makeout session). He loved Stiles so much and he wouldn’t mind telling to the world, even if he wasn’t the person to share his feelings to anyone. If it meant Stiles would be happy, he’d do anything.

But then Beth came into their lives. This wouldn’t be a problem, if Stiles wasn’t just a young adult who still made stupid mistakes and Beth a full-grown adult with a great vision of the world. She was a great person, always trying to make everyone happy. And when Derek realised she was his mate, he almost destroyed his room. 

_Why couldn’t it be Stiles?_

_Why her?_

_Please, I just want to be happy._

_This time I had it right._

_Just give me more time._

_He’ll grow up._

_Please, I don’t want her. I want Stiles._

_If she’s my mate, I’ll lose Stiles._

_Please, I am happy now, don’t take Stiles from me._

_But if I choose Stiles, I won’t be able to control the wolf._

_I could kill the pack._

_I could kill Stiles._

_I can’t be with Stiles._

_I can’t be with both._

_I can’t be with Stiles._

When they broke up, the loft was never used again by anyone. They wouldn’t even metion it, because they knew what it meant to Derek.

It was now dusty and full of spider webs. Like his former relationship. And it made his heart ache thinking Stiles might never be his again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mariana finally updates (yay for me!)  
> Sorry, but I had a huge block and then i got in uni and almost no time. Plus, I am super lazy and I procastinate a lot...   
> Don't know if Kira and Malia will be included, I still don't know when the next chap is gonna come out, maybe next year (jk)  
> K, hope you liked it <3

**Author's Note:**

> sooo, the next chap is coming... i dunno when but i promise i won't give up on this (because i'm really into the story rn) it might take a while, since this first part took me 2 months (it won't take as long, because i'm done with school next week)  
> feel free to give me advices and ideas =)


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